Wednesday, October 14, 2009

CLEVELAND CHILD ABUSE CASE TAKES SURPRISING TURN



From the mistake on the lake comes this sad story sent to me by loyal reader "Kundagratz" of the North Hills of Pittsburgh...

Cleveland, OH (AP) - A seven-year old boy (identity withheld) was at the center of a Cuyahoga County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.


ABOVE: Spanking has been an Ohio custom since who knows when...I'm sure this kid deserved it.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her! When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that, incredibly, they also beat him!!! What was with this boy's family?


ABOVE: Many the youth has been threatened with the aerodynamic paddle-style turner. This ingenious device has less wind resistance which equals greater velocity and thus more pain in your butt. It also leaves a telltale "badge of honor" which you can show off to your buddies.

 After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.


After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to Eric Mangini, Coach of the Cleveland Browns, whom the boy and the Court firmly believe is not capable of beating anyone.

Hey what can we say, it's Cleveland Browns week here in the Burgh!


ABOVE: Could you imagine having a logo as goofy-looking as this for your football team? That's Cleveland for you!