Wednesday, May 20, 2009

JAMES HARRISON JOINS SELECT COMPANY: TWICE AT LAST COUNT




ABOVE: James Harrison confronts his worst fear. This is really bad. BELOW: Mine, strangely enough, is falling off my roof as I clean out the gutters. (This isn't me by the way, just somebody else experiencing this nightmare).


NFL defensive MVP and Pittsburgh Steeler linebacker, James Harrison, claimed membership in two rapidly growing clubs this week. After first using the most incredibly-dumb excuse for not going to the White House (..."we only got invited because we won the SuperBowl, if Arizona would have won they would have invited them...") Harrison has now decided to apply the "I hate to fly" logo on his head as the true, underlying reason for "standing up" the President of the United States, Barack Obama, who, as you know, is also a black man.

ABOVE: Flying is apparently the only thing that intimidates James Harrison

You would think that James Harrison would have opted to drive to D.C. for a chance to meet the first black President in history, but what do we know? Maybe he's not smart enough to drive there? Harrison thus joins Joey Porter in the "All-Idiot Linebacker Club" as the second Pittsburgh Steeler linebacker to embarrass the club when they were invited to be honored at the White House.


ABOVE: Tony Kornheiser... Now this guy we can believe has a problem flying.

In addition to certifying himself as an idiot, Harrison now also gets to join the elite company of Tony Kornheiser (recently replaced by Jon Gruden on "Monday Night Football") and John Madden, recently retired broadcaster and former coach as those who claim that they are too intimidated to fly.

How many more millions will the Steelers have to guarantee Harrison in order for him to promise not to embarrass the organization on a national stage any more? Last year it was a domestic abuse issue, this year he's dissing the President. What next? When does it end??? If Harrison keeps this up, he could find himself playing in Miami too.

ABOVE: John Madden was afraid of falling out of the sky and going, "BOOM".