Monday, May 11, 2009

GARY DELL'ABATE STRIKES GOLD BEFORE BUCCO GAME VS METS

ABOVE: "Howard Stern Show" producer, Gary "Baba Booey", Dell'Abate poses with Mets mascot prior to throwing out first pitch at Mets-Pirates game. Dell'Abate was acting as honorary chair for "Autism Awareness Day".





It's funny how life works out sometimes.




For weeks, Howard Stern Show producer, Gary Dell'Abate (better known as "Baba Booey") anguished over the fact that he had been asked and had accepted to throw out the first pitch for the Mets-Pirates game on Saturday, May 9th.

ABOVE: Gary Dell'Abate during a more serious moment at the "Stern" show.

Dell'Abate practiced with his son and even had a coach working with him. On Saturday, "D-Day" arrived, and it was high anxiety as "Fla Fla Floofly" took the mound with show star Artie Lang accompanying him for moral support (or some might argue to have the best view of what would become a disaster).

ABOVE: Dell'Abate left with LSD-laden comedian, Artie Lang.

The horse-faced producer reared back and let fly a horrible "girlie" throw that was so bad that it hit the umpire over ten feet away from home plate.

Just when you thought that all was lost in this disaster for Dell'Abate, it took none other than former Pirates G.M. Dave Littlefield to save the day. Littlefield, who had a history of signing pitchers with arm trouble and players with little talent period, was in attendance as a major league scout for the Chicago Cubs.

Pittsburgh's Black and Gold" learned that Littlefield indeed has an interest in signing Dell'Abate!

"He's been pretty healthy and hasn't had any shoulder surgeries. It's just a matter of getting his mechanics worked out. I'm sure that with a little seasoning in the minors that we (the Cubs) could make him into something. I've been wanting to get back at the Pirates ever since they signed those two Indian kids right out from under me."

ABOVE: Dave Littlefield, former Pirates GM, rearranges his pocket while talking baseball stuff with another scout at Pirates-Mets game. God only knows what he's planning. At least whatever it is, it's for the benefit of the Cubs!

GOTHAM CITY N'ER-DO-WELL THROWS SUPPORT TO PITTSBURGH RELATIVES

ABOVE: The "Penguin" with his omnipresent umbrella, monocle, cigarette holder and top hat. He certainly has a lot of trademarks.

As if they needed his help, the Pittsburgh Penguins learned yesterday that "The Penguin," famous arch villain in the "Batman" series has indeed pledged his support towards the Pittsburgh flightless birds, although they really don't need it. The message was delivered by courier yesterday to Mellon Arena wrapped in a "Beware the Penguins" magazine advertisement.

The Penguins defeated the Washington Capitals 4-3 in a thrilling overtime win in D.C. to put them up 3-2 in the series. It was their third straight win after losing the first two of the series. Evgeni Malkin's diving pass to Sidney Crosby was deflected by Washington's Tom Poti into his own net (not a good play) past rookie goaltender Simeon Valarmov.

The Pens can now clinch the series with a win at what should be a frenzied Mellon Arena tonight, but the team admits that it's on edge regarding the pledge of "help" from the Penguin. He quite often resorts to having colorful gases emitted from his umbrella to render opponents unconscious, or even dead, a tendency that has not gone unnoticed by Pittsburgh team officials.

ABOVE: "The Penguin" brings his own unique style into a series that has lacked much of the thuggery that typified the Pens-Flyers series.

"While we appreciate the Penguin's pledge of support, we hope he can do so by cheering for the team and not resorting to mass chaos," said a concerned Mario Lemieux.

However, the team's savvy marketing department, will take advantage of The Penguin's pledge of support by offering fans of either a monocle, top hat or cigarette holder upon admission to tonight's game which had already been declared a "white out" by the team.

"We're the most fan-friendly team in sports," said team spokesman, Tom McMillian. Only the Pirates give out more junk to the fans than we do. This multiple give-away game will set a new standard in Pittsburgh over what even the Pirates (the acknowledged leader in promos) do. We're just hopeful that there won't be any nerve gas high jinks tonight so we're also going to give the fans an option for a gas mask if they feel so inclined." Gas mask supplies will be limited, however, since the team is figuring that the top hats and cigarette holders will be the top two items requested, followed by the difficult-to-use monocle. "Pittsburgh fans won't be worrying about nerve gas at Mellon Arena. If anything they'll be worried about getting through the restroom lines before the start of a period, or getting their picture taken with the Malkins," McMillan laughed. "If we can make it to the finals without any problems from The Penguin, we may even do a Penguin umbrella night or some other special thing."


ABOVE: "Pittsburgh's Black and Gold" investigators have discovered that this bobble head is already now in mass production...perhaps methinks the "special thing" alluded to by Tom McMillan for the Stanley Cup finals? Stay tuned Penguin fans, same Bat time (7:00), same Bat channel (FSN Pittsburgh)!!!