Thursday, March 5, 2009

PITT: NOT BLACK & GOLD, BUT VERY CLOSE

The Pitt Panthers played another game for the ages last night, laying a pounding on #13 Marquette in a game that was much more thrilling than the final score, 90-75, would indicate. But you already know that. Leave it to the investigative journalists at "P.B. & G." to be the only media outlet in the city to post the real story that was going on behind the scenes last night at the "Pete"!

Now I know what you're thinking, "Hey, I thought this was "Pittsburgh's Black and Gold", not "Pittsburgh's Blue and Gold?" Well in a very interesting story, our reporters have learned that the University of Pittsburgh is planning to announce a uniform color change at halftime of the national title game, if they finally make it to that game that is. The idea is that the team will come out for the second half in the traditional Pittsburgh "beat down" colors of Black & Gold and this will be enough to insure that much-longed-for first NCAA basketball championship.
Above: Coming soon to an Events Center near you? Could be! Simply change the IOWA to P-I-T-T". But Iowa hasn't won a national title in basketball, so what's the point," you ask? That's because Pittsburgh isn't in Iowa, they don't have our fans, the three rivers, our bridges, and the Steelers, Penguins and to a lesser degree, the Pirates either!

Our reporters also learned that this change was suggested by DeJuan Blair who was duly impressed by the 350,000 fans who came out for the Steelers parade. Blair actually rode in that parade at the invitation of Steeler Coach Charlie Batch in a nice touch to honor the Pittsburgh superstar. He then made the suggestion to coach Jamie Dixon primarily because he'd like to ride in another Pittsburgh victory parade.

Above: Blair is indeed a monster, but he's a monster who likes parades too, make no mistake about that! Would you want to go up for a rebound against "Pittsburgh's Cloverfield Monster" ("P.C.M.") ? I don't think so!

Last night at the game, Pitt Chancellor Mark Nordenberg had Steelers Coach Mike Tomlin as his special guest. Nordenberg also had Dan Rooney at a game recently to make sure that the Steelers were totally on board with the planned "secret" move. Tomlin reportedly was "ecstatic" after hearing the idea, according to our sources. Said one Pitt athletic department official on the condition of anonymity, "The Black & Gold has a lot of magic in big games. It will be a gigantic psychological advantage for the guys and even if it only got us one more basket, that could be enough to win it all in a big game like that."

"P.B.& G" photo by D. Navis

Above: Pitt Chancellor Mark Nordenberg at the second he's about to tell Coach Tomlin about the uniform change idea. Nordenberg, it was learned, was separated at birth with former VEEP Al Gore.

The only hangup could be Pitt's answer to the "No Fun League" and that would be the NCAA. "Yeah, knowing them, they'd use an electron scanning microscope to make sure we didn't change colors if they told us we couldn't," said the official. "They're as anal as they come.

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Above: The NCAA will probably commandeer this microscope from a Pitt lab.

The reason for this planned change is actually deeply rooted in Pittsburgh sports history. The Pittsburgh Penguins announced their color change at halftime of SuperBowl XIV in 1980. The Panthers apparently wanted to get on board with all of the other major teams in the city and make the minor color change that a move from navy blue to black would entail.

Above: Notice on the left the subtle change that Pitt will make. This tiny color change will allow them to break the jinx that has surrounded their basketball team forever and will allow them to raise their first "national champions" banner at the Petersen Events Center.