Thursday, January 22, 2009


I was very happy to hear from the Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium today that their animals have become completely engrossed in preparations for the upcoming SuperBowl game. Just get a load of this awesome lineup of activities!

The animals will be having a pep rally this Saturday at 10:30 a.m. to kick off a special promotion where you can get into the zoo for free between now and the SuperBowl if you bring your Terrible Towel!

Above: Heinz Ward qualifies for free admission to the zoo. What the heck, he could BUY the zoo for crying out loud!

This Saturday, Zuza the Silverback will be given a snowman with an Arizona Cardinals jersey on it (the obvious intention is that Zuza wil wreak mayhem on this unfortunate version of "Frosty".

If that's not enough animal mauling for you already, there are going to be cardboard Cardinals hung from the trees in the Lion exhibit! They will be strategically placed so that the Lions will leap up to either bite them or shred them with their paws!!! YIKES!!!
Above: It took some kind of convincing to get the Lions to stop chasing the Zebra that rides a motorcycle at the zoo and go after cardboard Cardinals instead. The secret? Read on.

The Orangutans will get Terrible Towels to wave and Steeler shirts (sizeXXXL presumably).

Last but not least, a Kodiak bear is going to predict the outcome of the SuperBowl! I have no clue how this will happen, but if I had to guess, I wouldn't be surprised if a dummy, dressed as an Arizona Cardinal and filled with ground meat was stood next to a dummy dressed like a Steeler that had no meat filling whatsoever. Whichever dummy is left standing by the Kodiak bear will win the SuperBowl!

Sounds fair to me.

Above: Kodiak bears are very warm and cuddly, as this guy will attest. But if you were able to tell what this bear was really thinking about, right now, I'd bet it's this:

Above: A standing Beef rib roast: Tasty and delicious true, but humans are bigger!

So check out the Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium during this fantastic promotion. Take all of the kids to the zoo to witness all of the planned organized mayhem. Post a comment to let me know which animal activity sounds best to you; Zuza attacking a snowman, the Lions swatting cardboard cardinals dipped in ground beef (the secret I alluded to earlier), orangutans waving Terrible Towels or a Kodiak bear slaughtering a ground meat filled dummy (I'm hypothesizing there). Kudos to the Zoo folks on a terrific promotion. Everybody should have great fun with this!
You have a world-class zoo here in Pittsburgh and now because of the Steelers success, you can enjoy it for free!
And remember, I was only kidding about the ground meat filled dummy, but everything else is true!