Above: The gravesite of Myron Cope. As always adorned with his "Terrible Towel". Rest in peace Pittsburgh icon and fellow lousy golfer!
Friday, February 27, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Patrick White's not one to kiss and tell. The West Virginia quarterback received what appeared to be a hug and a peck on the cheek from ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews a few seconds after a postgame interview Saturday at Puskar Stadium.
"That's between me and her," White said, a little shocked that someone caught the interlude, before breaking into a sly smile. A few seconds later, he volunteered, "I almost fainted when she came up to me."
Above: Since we did mention Erin Andrews, I thought it only prudent to add one more "zebra" shot of her before we get back onto our real subject, Pat White! You don't mind, do you? Below: This is more like it! Now we're back on top of the current goings-on in Couchtown. What do West Virginians have against couches, anyway?
Yes, Pat White obviously has some special spell that he's weaving over the female population in the land of burning couches. Either that, or he must be subconsciously exuding male pheromones like no male ever before him. I'm quite impressed by his seeming prowess. As all women know who frequent clubs on the South Side or the Strip, male prowess is a very important Steeler trait.
Above: This guy is a veritable clone of Hines Ward. He's a quarterback as Hines was. He resembles his build, has his toughness, has his desire to win and loves to light up the unsuspecting a la Hines. Close your eyes and imagine him as a Steeler. He'd be another dangerous weapon for Ben!
"LETHAL WEAPON FIVE"
But you're not reading this supposedly to look at chesty pictures of Erin Andrews, you're here to learn why the Steelers should draft Pat White, right? Yeah, right!
Above: He already has most of the uniform colors right and he even has Hines' high step. He can cut with the best of them too, just like 'Tonio and Hines.
Various mock drafts have had Pat White lasting until the 57th pick or late in the second round. White has apparently done very well at the scouting combine and various reports are saying that he improved his draft position more than any other attendee. While that may be true and while it will get him more money to start off with I don't see him cracking the first round because of lingering concerns over his size. With the Steelers drafting last in the first round, Pat White should still be there and offensively would have the greatest potential of virtually any offensive player to be drafted. Don't be shocked if this happens. Here's why:
The Steelers have always liked drafting the BAA player (best athlete available) especially in the early rounds. They do this because it works.
Hines is another year older and has a couple more injuries to show for it. He probably has two years tops left in the tank. The Steelers are going to lose Nate Washington, probably to Tennessee. Nate has improved himself over the years, but tell me that Pat White wouldn't be an upgrade over him? Plus, last year's number two draft choice, Limas Sweed has yet to flash his supposed skills, so the Steelers are really dealing with a major potential dropoff after Santonio, especially considering Hines' age. If Hines or Santonio goes down, watch out, here come the Browns.Above: Oh, did I say that he can throw too? The Steelers could have a whole package of plays written just for White! He wowed the scouts displaying an ability to confidently make all of the necessary repertoire of throws.
There are reports that Jeff Saturday, an outstanding center on the Colts would like to play for the Steelers. His agent is Pittsburgher Ralph Cindrich, so this could really be do-able. Getting a guy like Saturday would take a lot of that first round lineman pressure off the team and it further makes this look like a tantalizing opportunity. Face it, all of the "all-world" offensive linemen will already be gone and anyone we would draft as a lineman probably wouldn't play that much anyway. Pat White could be an immediate impact player and he would add even more blazing speed onto a team that already has "Fast"Willie Parker and Santonio Holmes on its' roster..
Above: Pat White has received permission from Roger Goodell to wear this WWF-style champeen's belt during games. He will be the first player to be granted this exemption since he was the first q.b. to ever win four bowl games EVER!! The Steelers should draft him just for having done that!!!
So when it comes time for the Steelers to draft, don't be surprised when the commish says, "With the 32nd and final pick in the first round, the SuperBowl champion Pittsburgh Steelers select quarterback, Pat White from the University of West Virginia."
So what about Dennis Dixon whom the Steelers already have on their roster? Well first of all expect Byron Leftwich to get a starters job elsewhere. Though he's said that he wants to stay, the money will be too great for him to do so. Charlie Batch will probably remain as the backup with Dixon as third string. Pat White will make the roster as a receiver slash wildcat quarterback giving the "large one" a break from time-to-time.
As long as White doesn't do any more of those mock Pitt "meows" like he did a couple years ago on ESPN during the "Backyard Brawl", he can consider all to be forgiven and will be welcomed into the collective bosom of the Steeler Nation...well at least by those Steeler fans who didn't go to Pitt!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Life...It's All About Choices
Above:Contain yourselves! Money can't always buy happiness, but no longer getting it by the bushelbaskets every year can cause millionaires like these to become very unhappy. Did you ever see a more pathetic-looking bunch of mega-wealthy men in your life? Their expressions were almost as incongruous as Richard Pryor's in "Brewster's Millions" when he would get angry because he had made millions of dollars on an "iceburg thing". Remember: each of the men pictured above is going to be getting tens of millions of dollars in settlement for their share of the Steelers, so don't feel too sorry for their plight in life. Maybe they should buy a rare stamp and mail it or run against Mayor "Steeler-stahl" as "None of the Above". It worked for Brewster, it could work for the Rooneys!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
One of the things I really enjoy about authoring this blog is that I can pursue any topic that I feel my readers will enjoy when it comes to Pittsburgh. When I come across something that I feel is a winner, it's almost like hitting a jackpot. This occured yesterday while doing some research on another story I'm planning for you. I came across the name of a person that I thought all of you would enjoy reading about, the venerable Bill Cardille.
Cracked Cardille: "The only thing I didn't do was sing the national anthem."
Bill Cardille will always have a large place in the pantheon of Pittsburgh television. He was one of six original announcing voices ever heard on WIIC (now WPXI) and his was the very familiar face that hosted popular shows like "Studio Wrestling" and "Chiller Theater".
"Chilly Billy" was certainly among the most popular TV hosts ever in Pittsburgh and he also managed to do a pretty good weatherman imitation from time-to-time as well.
Above: Bill looking positively natty in a double-breasted suit with Pirate baseball legend "Pie" Traynor.
There are some things that you never forget about your childhood. That day was one of them for me. My sweet little 4' 8" Italian grandmother was so incensed that she was moved to chase me with a broom! She would have hit me with it too if it wouldn't have been that she hit her dining room chandelier first and broke a globe on it! She then sat down and started crying!
Do you have any idea how bad you can make an eight-year-old feel when you first chase him with a broom because he broke a lamp and a picture of his deceased grandfather and he then sees his grandmother sitting down crying because he inadvertantly caused her to break her chandelier too? This day was what I'll call a "Bad day at black rock" and leave it at that.
So revolving around the career of Bill Cardille are two of the greatest locally-produced shows of all time, "Studio Wrestling" and "Chiller Theater" as well as one of the top three horror films ever, "The Night of the Living Dead". Not too shabby "Chilly Billy".
Friday, February 20, 2009
Above: Troy even enjoys chocolates (when he's not drinking Coke that is).
Again, now you know why the Steelers are so beloved in this town.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
RAY SHERO. OCCUPATION: SCAPEGOAT-MAKER
Above: As the songs goes, "They smile in your face, all the time they wanna take your place, the back stabbers, back stabbers....."
I have a few things that I'd like to addresss today and I'll start off with the Penguins. Dan Bylsma can very well be the best coach to come around since sliced bread was invented, but I'm very disturbed at the raw deal that Mike Therrien got just a few months after taking the team to the Stanley Cup Finals.
McDonald's: Sad To Say, Apparently I've Eaten
Above: Apparently McDonalds would go to the moon if they thought they could get cheaper beef there.
Above: Buddha's probably rolling over in his grave right now...
Above: Beer bottle temple in Thailand required that the local populace drink 375,000 gallons of beer (in 16 ounce bottles of course). This means that many Thais are either 1) Not Buddhist or 2) Don't care about the rule against drinking alcoholic beverages in Buddhism. Oh well, at least the bottles ended up being used for something good.
Above: Buddhist monk stands in front of amazing beer bottle temple. Nice touch with the water and all.
Below: Inside the beer bottle temple. Very impressive inside and out. You can never underestimate the value of alcoholism, either in Houston or Thailand!
Monday, February 16, 2009
"STEELER NAME PERFECT FOR THIS" -- Dan Rooney
Copyright 2009 "Pittsburgh's Black and Gold"
“Today all of the rules are about protecting the player. We’ll be able to scrap all of those rules and really let these robots kill each other! Imagine it!!! Plus, the cost of repairing the robots will be a heckuva lot less than having a guy sittiing on the bench all year long doing nothing. Robots will be able to play every game all year! We won‘t have to worry about concussions, shoulder separations or spinal cord injuries either.”
Above: Steelers prototype along with the smaller, more damageable Patriots robots. This matchup could be a "smash face kind of game as Ryan Clark likes to say (only he won't be playing).
Above: More than likely this Ravens linebacker will be giving the Steelers loads of problems.
Below: More traditional-looking offensive linemen robots are already in full scale production at CMU. The NFL's marketing gurus figure that they'll be a mega hit with the kids.
"We’ve tried to figure out what we could do with that, and I just don't know yet." said Goodell, "But it just might have to be that we’ll save the hundreds of millions of dollars that the draft costs our league every year and just bank it. Believe me, when our fans see, hear,.... smell,..... even feel the velocity of these impacts, they’ll forget all about that we once had fragile humans playing this game and that they were drafted and had to wear helmets. So what? I mean who really cares about that anymore?"
"We'll also be coming out with a new line of what we're calling "NFLbot rally towels". The fans are really going to love them for just $19.95."
Of course the obvious joke here was that the teams would also save on no longer having to pay out SuperBowl bonuses or the winning team having to purchase SuperBowl rings...another big savings for the always cost-conscious owners.
"We'll create an industry in Pittsburgh building robots for the NFL," said Rooney, "And hand pick the best ones and make them Steelers! The President is a big Steeler fan and he loves the idea as part of his jobs stimulus package."
Sunday, February 15, 2009
STEELERS DISGRACED BY CONVENIENCE CHAIN
......EXPECT ROONEYS TO RETALIATE
copyright 2009 "Pittsburgh's Black and Gold"
Steelers kicker Jeff Reed found out about that target that every NFL player has on his back when he was arrested following a disgraceful situation that occured at a Sheetz store at 3 a.m. on Friday night in New Alexandria.
Above: Their MTOs may be good, but when it comes to restrooms, forget it. Ask Jeff Reed!
Reed, returning home from Carnegie Library in Oakland where he had been working on a research paper on male pheremones, made an innocent "pit stop" at a Sheetz store along the way. He entered this restroom and then the trouble began...After simply trying to get a paper towel to dry his just-sanitized hands, the kicker, in an obvious state of exhaustion from his research work lost his composure...and it was all Sheetz' fault!
Above: Darn right he was mad! Who isn't mad when there's no paper towels in the dispenser? It's enough to bring out the animal in anybody!
Above: Apparently it was this sign that sent Reed over the edge. How dare they post a sign like this and not have paper towels. A Pittsburgh-based chain would never have let this happen (Sheetz is headquartered in Altoona... figures).
Yes, Jeff Reed was upset. Yes he said some bad words. Yes this was inappropriate behavior. Yes, yes, yes. But what the Sheetz employees did, calling the cops after he smashed their empty paper towel dispenser was totally uncalled for.
Jeff Reed is a nice, happy-go-lucky, fun loving guy. Ask any woman anywhere and they will tell you: Jeff Reed is the man! Besides all that, he also kicks footballs straight through the uprights at Heinz Field...no easy trick we all know. On top of all of this, he just won a SuperBowl for our region. One day he's in a parade, the next day you're going to cite him for Sheetz' shortcomings as a convenience chain? Where's the convenience when you have to dry your hands on your pants? Remember, chicks don't dig a guy with wet pants.
Above: Some fatso tries to horn in on "Skippy's" action, further proof that the man gets no respect from anyone around here. Instead of bothering Jeff, this porker should be at Goodyear seeing if they have any jobs for blimp drivers.
Ironically enough, this whole incident could have been prevented if only Sheetz had been doing the environmentally responsible thing and got rid of its' paper towel dispensers. What a disgraceful waste of our country's natural resources!
Maybe instead of buying more of those $10,000 cappucino machines, Sheetz should spend a few bucks on some of these and prevent a lot of trouble for the Steelers and their true fans!!!
While the Steelers offices were closed over the weekend, a security guard, on the condition of anonymity, commented on the situation: "There's going to be hell to pay, that's for sure. I'm sure that there'll be a couple knees taken out over this," he said while hitting a night stick in his hand.
Hey, Sheetz started this war. The Steelers have every right to finish it!
Above: Shame on you Sheetz. You put cappucino ahead of the Steelers then try to shift the blame! Below: Restroom graffitti left over from George H.W. Bush's first presidential campaign. Further proof that they don't check their restrooms often enough.